So…is the Goal of Meditation to Clear the Mind of all Thoughts?
3 Strategies for Cultivating a Skillful Relationship with your Thinking Mind
Have you ever wondered if you should try to “get rid” of your thoughts while meditating? Why do you have so many thoughts while meditating? Do you wonder if you’re “bad at meditating” if your thinking “gets in the way”? You’re not alone. Keep reading for an overview of the vast inner landscape of your thinking mind, 3 strategies for cultivating a skillful relationship with your thinking mind, and read all the way to the bottom to listen to a 5-minute meditation recording I made especially for YOU.
Part I: The Vast Inner Landscape of Your Thinking Mind…Let’s Take a Look
Let’s lay down some of the basics about the thinking mind before we roll into the meditation discussion.
1. Your mind is designed to think.
Meditation teacher and author Tara Brach says, “Our mind secretes thoughts the way our body secretes enzymes.” The “goal” of Vipassana, or insight meditation, is not to “stop thinking” but rather to practice creating space in between the thoughts to explore the freedom found between thoughts, which then allows for wise choices…and spaciousness.
2. Your mind thinks A LOT.
We have 60,000-80,000 thoughts per day. That is a thought every 1.2 seconds, and 98% of them are the same thoughts we had yesterday. Zoiks.
3. Your thoughts roll over and over, stalk back and forth.
I’ll share a story about a white tiger named Mohini who lived in the National Zoo in Washington, DC. She lived in an old lion house—a 12-foot by 12-foot cage with iron bars and cement floor. Mohini spent her days pacing back and forth. At one point, the biologists and zoo staff agreed to create a natural environment for Mohini to give her land with hills, trees and a pond. They were excited about releasing her into this natural environment, but an odd thing occurred. When they opened the doors of her cage after transporting her, Mohini immediately went to a corner of her vast new landscape and began walking back and forth. She paced until an area of 12 by 12 was worn bare of grass. She did that for the rest of her life.
This story of Mohini makes me wonder about the conditioning that prevented her from exploring her environment. Does this happen to humans, too? How much of my world (inner and outer) can I gain access to, but am unconsciously choosing to be confined to an imaginary cage—the cage of my repetitive, incessant thinking? Am I choosing to mentally pace on the same 12 by 12 patch of life?
I am reminded of a quote by Rumi—
“Why do you stay in prison when the door is so wide open? Move outside the tangle of fear-thinking. The entrance door to the sanctuary is inside you.”
So how do we bring a wise and openhearted attention to the world of thoughts? With these strategies, I invite you to cultivate a skillful relationship with your thinking mind.
Part II: 3 Strategies for Cultivating a Skillful Relationship with your Thinking Mind
Name the Thought
So, you’re on your cushion all settled in and aware of your breathing and you suddenly realize you’re thinking. It’s ok. In mindfulness practice we watch, and notice the arrival of thoughts. And we label them without story or judgement. “Oh, this is worry, planning, storytelling, organizing…” Just label. And go back to the breath. This is the mindfulness magic — becoming aware of the thinking patterns that take you away from the present.
2. Shorten the Story
The thoughts that move through us can create physical and emotional experiences. This is because evolution has rigged us to be vigilant about potential threats; an ample number of our thoughts protect us from what might or has already happened. So they perpetuate an atmosphere of tension and fear, which may not be real in the moment.
Neuroscientist Jill Bolte Taylor says that it takes 1.5 minutes for an emotion to move through our bodies. And that’s without the added fuel of thoughts; the fuel of thoughts sparks, ignites, and keeps emotions churning.
Rather than getting lost in story, just label it pleasant, unpleasant, or neutral. This way you create a pause, allowing space between thoughts and emotions, And watch it move past. Back to the breath. Begin again.
“Reality is always kinder than the stories we tell about it.”
3. Practice Choice
When practicing mindfulness meditation, we are learning to recognize thoughts without becoming lost in their content. This gives us the capacity to later choose what thoughts to engage with, and to have increasing access to present moment experience.
The ability to choose is liberating. While some thoughts serve us well, many are repetitive and often stir up fear and grasping. Especially when thoughts are compelling, we tend to go into a trance and forget they are thoughts—rather, we take the thoughts for reality.
Try a brief experiment. We’re going to swipe two different words from the air. The first word is “trouble.” Let the word “trouble” float in your mind. Whisper to yourself—“trouble, trouble.” Just notice what (or who) materializes when the word “trouble” floats around inside.
Now take a big eraser and wash that word away.
Then the next word we’re going to pluck out of the air is “kindness.” Just for a moment, let kindness flow through you-- the idea, a kind person, or gesture. And notice feelings or images.
As we begin to investigate thoughts moving through us, we discover how they create an inner atmosphere. It’s an interesting inquiry - what kind of thoughts regularly populate your mind? Do your thoughts arouse a sense of care, interest, or possibility? Or do they arouse a sense of fear, criticism, judgment, and therefore separation? Practice choosing the type of thoughts you want populating your mind more often. Choose thoughts that bring about a sense of ease over and over again.
Part III: Guided Meditation
I’ve recorded a 5-minute meditation practice for you. Find a comfortable position. Feel your feet on the floor, or seat on the cushion.
Take a few deep cleansing breaths noticing how your shoulders rise and fall or how your chest expands with air.
And then settle into a natural rhythm. Notice if there is any obvious tension you can release. Let the eyes and jaws be soft.
As you follow the sensations of your breathing there will be a stream of thoughts in the background.
Let them be. Let them rise and fall like waves of the ocean around the breath.
Sometimes as 3 or 10 breath cycles pass, a strong thought will arise and carry the attention away.
As soon as you notice this thought, name it gently according to its predominant quality.
Remember your simple notes: planning, remembering, judging, worrying, fearful thought, happy thought. Simply naming and acknowledging the thought is supportive of the witnessing quality of the mindful loving awareness.
Once you have noted a thought gently for some time, you will notice that it dissolves like a fog under sunlight.
Back to the breath. Begin again.
Stepping out of the stories the thought tells, you can see the common patterns of thought without being so captured by them.
Notice how some thoughts bring up strong emotions, and how some emotions bring up certain thoughts. Witness the interplay between thought and emotion.
More thoughts will arrive. And when they do, notice them, observe them, label and begin again with your breath.
Notice the experience of space between thoughts.
Imagine you are open sky and thoughts float through like clouds.
How did that go for you? What did you notice during the practice? Do you have an experience you’d like to share? Do you have any questions? What’s your current relationship to your “thinking mind?” Feel free to reach out to me directly at any time here. I love to hear from you.